Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Having sex with your wifeÂ…after childbirth

James Dunsford

The above phrase has been the mantra of newly ordained fathers for years in reference to how long has passed since they have been intimate with their wife, and has brought with it reactions of sympathy and the occasional supportive back slap from a man's friends.

While it's no secret that some women temporarily lose their sex drive after childbirth, it still may be a frustrating experience for some new fathers who aren't aware of the emotional rollercoaster their wife has been on. For them, here's some sound advice for getting your lady back in the mood: get dirty.

Settle down. It's not what you think.

It involves cleaning up after the new edition, changing diapers at all hours of the day and enduring feeding time, which always has the potential for the kid to turn into a food-spitting sprinkler.

Why endure such hardship? Because it will remind your wife that you care and that you're trying to share what she went through.

It's a trying experience and a lot of the emotional disconnect between two new parents can emerge from the lack of understanding on the new dad's part. This has a snowball effect for the woman that, combined with their weakened sex drive, can lead them to snap at you when you leave the toilet seat up.

To remedy the problem, fathers should take some time and get to know the newest member of the family. And this means going on diaper duty, waking up in the middle of the night when they cry and helping feed the baby when he or she is hungry.

In essence, give your wife time to relax and help her realize that you're in this together. For most women, sex isn't just something physical. It's an emotional connection, and when fathers make that connection with their new child, their wife will start to see them as a man instead of the evil tyrant who put them through nine months of pain.

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